I want to do that. OK. So I think you touched upon it a little bit, but what is the difference between disciplining you when you were younger versus showing you grace now that you're older? Yeah. So I think there's two parts to this. So there's obviously two different relationships. The first relationship takes place in your disciplinary and younger years. The second relationship takes place when you become more independent and more young adult like teenage. Teenage, young adult, like, I don't know, it's obviously subjective to each child, but maybe like 13 to 18. But the first kind of relationship is the disciplinary phase because I think children, especially young children, right, their kind of world view is very easy to mold because they don't know anything. It's like a blank canvas and you're the painter painting on the blank canvas. So in their younger years, you kind of want to take a more disciplinary approach because. If they aren't disciplined and they aren't obedient and they don't submit to your authority later on in life, like in their teenage years, you have a problem because at that point they're not going to revert back to your authority, right? So you want to do all the disciplinary action when you're younger so that once you have that disciplinary action and you have those set of rules that you can't, that your child can't break and you have kind of the things that you can do and can't do. And things you have to obey me on and things you don't have to obey me on or not the things you how do you phrase this? Like the things you have to obey me on and well, actually you have to obey the parent anyways, but kind of like just the limits, right? Once you set the limits at a younger age, when they grow into that second phase of kind of more pre-teen and young adult, now what has happened is. Is kind of the relationship has blossomed into a more trusting relationship, a more equal relationship, as now you can view the other as your kid, almost as not even a kid anymore, but almost like an equal. Obviously you're still gonna have that authority over them, but hopefully once you reach that stage, you can give them the independence because they trust you, right? They trust you that you love them because at the end of the day, love is just wanting the best for someone else. So when you're disciplining your kid, disciplining, disciplining your kid at a young age. You're disciplining them. Am I saying that word correct? Disciplining. You're disciplining. I just, I've said it so many times. I can't. I don't even know. OK, you you've like, what was I saying? You're disciplining them out of love. Yeah. You're disciplining them out of love, right? Because you know that that relationship can transfer and become that kind of trusting, more independent relationship because obviously your kids are going to grow up. So once you exit that disciplinary phase when they know that list and they know. What to do and what not to do. Now you can view them with trust. So for example, I was hanging out with a couple of my Christian friends like 2 weeks, one week ago. I think it's like one week ago. And essentially I came back home super late, like 2:00 AM. So I arrived home, you know, crashed. The next morning I had to talk with my dad and I explained to him that these, oh, you know, these were Christian friends and that it was. That like, he shouldn't get mad at me, basically for being out that late. And he kind of accepted that and he accepted that because he trusted me, right? And we've reached, we've already reached that stage of trust, of mutual trust, where he trusts me to make my own independent decisions and I trust him to kind of deal out consequences when they're needed. And in addition to this, what happens is if you discipline them at a young age and you discipline them in that disciplinary phase. They recognize what is wrong and what is right. So when they reach that trusting phase, they're less likely to do things that are wrong. And when they do things that are wrong, right, they recognize that they did something wrong. And there's that trust too. There's that trust where it's like, mom, dad, I've done something wrong. I need your help to kind of, to kind of keep me in check, right? To kind of give me a consequence, but in a loving way, because I know and I can trust you that I can trust that you love me.

我想这么做。 好的，我觉得你稍微提到了一些，但在你年幼时对你进行管教，与现在你长大后对你展现恩典，这两者之间有什么区别？ 是的，我认为这可以分为两个部分来讨论。这显然是两种不同的关系。第一种关系发生在你的管教和幼年时期，第二种关系则发生在你变得更加独立、更像青少年或年轻成年人的时候，比如13岁到18岁之间。 第一种关系是管教阶段，因为我认为孩子，尤其是年幼的孩子，他们的世界观很容易塑造，因为他们对世界一无所知。就像一张空白的画布，而你是画家，正在这张画布上作画。所以在他们年幼时，你应该采取更严格的管教方式，因为如果他们在这个阶段没有被管教，没有学会服从，也没有顺从你的权威，那么等到他们进入青少年时期，你就会遇到问题，因为那时他们不会再轻易回到你的权威之下。 所以你希望在孩子年幼时完成所有的管教工作，这样一旦你建立了这些规则，孩子就知道哪些事情不能做，哪些事情可以做，以及哪些事情必须服从你，哪些事情不需要。你可以这样理解：有些事情你必须听从父母，有些事情则不需要，或者说，这其实是关于界限的设定。无论如何，孩子必须服从父母，但这更多是关于设定界限，对吧？ 一旦设定了界限，当他们进入第二阶段，也就是青春期和年轻成年期时，你们的关系已经发展成一种更信任、更平等的关系。这时，你可以把他们视为不再是孩子，而几乎是平等的个体。 当然，你仍然对他们有一定的权威，但希望当你达到这个阶段时，你可以给予他们独立性，因为他们信任你。他们信任你是因为你爱他们，毕竟爱就是希望对方得到最好的。 当你在孩子年幼时管教他们，你是出于爱而管教他们。 你管教他们是因为你知道这种关系可以转变为一种更信任、更独立的关系，因为孩子终究会长大。所以，一旦你度过了管教阶段，当他们知道哪些事情该做、哪些事情不该做时，你就可以以信任的态度看待他们。 例如，大约一周前，我和几个基督徒朋友出去玩，回来时已经很晚了，大概是凌晨两点。我回到家后倒头就睡，第二天早上我和爸爸谈话，解释说这些是基督徒朋友，所以他不用因为我这么晚回家而生气。他接受了这个解释，因为他信任我。我们已经达到了这种互相信任的阶段，他信任我能做出独立的决定，而我也信任他会在需要时给予适当的后果。 此外，如果你在孩子年幼时进行管教，他们会辨别什么是对的、什么是错的。当他们进入信任阶段时，他们就不太可能去做错事。即使他们做了错事，他们也会意识到自己做错了，并且会信任父母，说：「爸爸妈妈，我做错了，我需要你们的帮助来纠正我，给我一个后果，但要以爱的方式，因为我知道并且相信你们爱我。」